Varmints
by Harebelle
Summary: Sniper and Soldier are asked to find out what kind of animal has been bothering the RED team's chickens at night, which leads to some conflict with Heavy.   Nothing EPIC!1, just character interaction. Contains mild violence and infrequent curse words.
1. Chapter 1

**Varmints**

A warm breeze from across the desert swept over the RED base and three men in the yard on the eastern side of the building.

Engineer strode across the dusty ground toward his two team mates, flipping something tiny in his gloved hands. He hailed them.

"Hey, partners. Mind if I ask ya'll fellas a favour?"

Sniper and Soldier looked up from their game of checkers to nod at the Texan, who never asked anything that didn't have purpose.

"Ask away, mate. We will determine whether or not this favour is worthy of altering our so carefully planned schedule," replied Sniper, tilting back the small box he was using as a chair. He grinned to make it clear he was joking, recalling several instances in which cultural or language barriers among the RED team had caused scuffles over minor things.

Engineer smiled shortly at the humour, but his face fell serious and he placed an attractive grey and black feather on the board.

"Ah, some varmint has been bothering the hens at night. First it was just scratching up the ground and the shed door, but it's been trying the mesh and some of the girls are so shook up, they aint layin' any more and are loosing feathers, poor things."

Soldier picked up the feather and twisted it.

"Coyote maybe? We had the cunning bastards back home, they'll keep coming back, too."

"Fox! Dingo! BEAR. It's a bear. It's a bear, you two. And who better to catch it than an experienced marksman like myself?" Sniper offered his own suggestions in jest.

"That's why I'm asking you, Sniper. Think you could have a look at the scratches and identify the critter, maybe even find out where it's set up camp?"

The Australian rose to his feet and stretched his arms above his head, his fingers interlocked.

"Y'know, I've barely seen a beastie out here, it's a bit sad. Uh, not purely from a big game hunting point of view."

Soldier looked up.

"You like animals?"

"Sure, I spend all my time with you, don't I?"

"Every other sentence with this guy." Soldier pretended to sigh in despair while aiming a soft punch in his friend's general direction, which fell short. He stood up and indicated for Engineer to lead the way and they were led to where the hens were kept near an old grain silo.

"Yeaaah, I'm sticking with bear." Sniper pointed at some small paw marks in the dust with his boot.

"Eight or nine foot tall, wouldn't you say?" Soldier joined in, looking at Engineer, who didn't look like he was feeling like joking.

"At least ten, mate. Naw, Engie, it's some canine- I'd say coyote, 'cause I've no clue where a dog would have come from way out here. I'll leave some food out tonight and find out, yeah?"

Engineer nodded.

"Thanks, partner. These hens are good girls and I don't wanna see 'em hurt. There's some tinned meatballs nobody seemed interested in, so you can use them." With that he walked off.

Sniper rolled his shoulders.

"Guess I have something to do tonight."

OOOOOOO

Sniper peered at his watch, but couldn't make out the display in the faint light of the moon. It was some time after midnight, though, and there had been no sign of the animal. He shifted slightly from where he sat behind a cluster of wooden crates and glanced at Soldier, who had fallen asleep leaning against a crate with his arms folded. He'd come to keep Sniper company, and the Australian was grateful even if the American's snores could scare away the critter.

Something moved out near the silo. Sniper couldn't make it out with just his eyes, but sliding his rifle over and peering through the scope let him focus on a familiar shape. It was definitely a dog. The light made it hard to make out its colours, but it had a lot of white. It wasn't too small, either. How could an animal that was bright white and this size be living nearby and never be seen?

The dog made a beeline straight to the meatballs and began wolfing them down.

"Well, I'm not shootin' you, mate," he said, lowering the rifle. "Tincan, wake up. It's just a dog; I'm going to see if he has a collar." He thrust the gun into the barely awake Kansan's hands and trotted over to the animal, whistling to it.

Soldier blinked and stood, watching him approach the clearly nervy mongrel and crouch near it. The animal's ears were flat on its head and it lowered its head, but didn't move. Soldier started walking over as his friend reached a hand for the long fur covering its neck, which could have been hiding a collar.

The dog did not like this and moved like lightning. Sniper's right hand was clamped in its teeth while both men yelled.

Sniper tried to pull away, but the dog was doing the same, growling in fear, but not letting go until a boot hit it square in the side. The yelping animal had ran away into the night before Soldier even reached the Australian, who sat cringing at his heavily bleeding hand.

**Bad form, Sniper. Don't worry, though, the dog's fine.  
The next chapter's coming up, TF2 fans. I do appreciate reviews and writing critique!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Soldier walked with Sniper through the RED base to Medic and Heavy's room, which was the last along the hall of dormitories. He'd given his friend a clean handkerchief to wrap his hand in, and though it had quickly soaked red, Sniper made an effort not to seem too bothered with his injury.

"Tell you what, this is nothing compared to the bite me cousin got from being too friendly with a croc'. Well, it bit his bike, anyway... and he was only hurt running straight into a tree getting away. Yeah, this has nothing to do with anything."

"Yeah."

Soldier knocked heavily on the door and the men waited for an answer. Sniper started to say something after a few moments, but stopped when they heard footsteps and the door unlocking.

An irate looking Heavy Weapons Guy in his pyjama vest and shorts stepped out, shutting the door behind him.

"Good _morning_, gentlemen." he grumbled.

Sniper ignored his tone.  
"Evenin', Heavy. Why d'you lock your door?"

Heavy stared and Soldier gave the Australian a sidewards glance.

"Uh, I need medical attention," he held up his bloodied hand.

"Medic is sleeping, can't it vait until daylight?" the Russian asked.

Soldier frowned.  
"It's his job, get him up."

Heavy frowned back, but mumbled an okay and turned into his room, closing the door.

Sniper noticed he was dripping blood and sighed, sitting down on the floor.  
"I thought you and the mountain got along, Tincan?"

"Not like you and Medic do. How's your hand?"

"It smarts."

Soldier placed a hand on Sniper's head in a comforting gesture.  
"Eh, at least we know what the animal is. I'm going to bed when the Doc's here, okay?"

"You don't need to stay anyway, mate. But thanks."

Medic came out of his dorm after a few minutes, looking wide awake, though his hair was uncombed and his lab coat unbuttoned over sleepwear.

"Hey, Doc. I'll see you later, maggot."

Soldier nodded to the doctor and headed back to bed, forcing down a yawn in front of his team mates.

Medic helped Sniper up and immediately began inspecting the bite in the hallway.  
"Something has bitten you?"

"Ow. Yeah, a dog. I thought I could catch it-"

"You vere bitten by dog? V-" Heavy interrupted, but Medic held up a hand.

"Not now, Heavy. Let's go to my office, Sniper, I'll fix this."

As soon as they were in the clean, organised office next door, Heavy stepped between the men.  
"Sniper, is the dog okay?"

"What? I'M not okay, I had to boot it before it let go of m'hand! It just ran off and is probably back trying to eat our hens right now."

"He is too small to even cause problem-"

"So, you know there's a dog trying to kill our chickens? What the Hell, it could've bloody well bit my face-"

"He is good dog- he vould never hurt anyone!"

"Well it BIT me- look at my hand!" he waved it in Heavy's face to prove so.

"Stop it, both of you. This isn't important right now!" Medic was ignored.

"He vas scared- vould you kick little cat, too?"

Sniper made a frustrated sound, unable to comprehend the Russian's stubborn defence of the animal.  
"It's just a dog, why the Hell are you so-"

"Just because he is not human or big, doesn't mean you KICK HIM!" Heavy was reaching boiling point, his eyebrows lowered.

"I kicked it because it fucking BIT ME, you giant idiot!" the Australian pushed Heavy in the chest with his good hand, not enough to even budge the man, but it was forceful.

Heavy stepped forward and swung a massive fist in retaliation in Sniper's direction, though from Medic's view it was obviously a restrained throw: he knew the Russian wouldn't want a real fight with his team mate, but wouldn't completely back down, either.  
Sniper raised both hands to block without thinking, and the fist collided with the side of his bitten hand with an unpleasant crunch.  
Time seemed to slow down for a moment as what just happened sunk it for all three men, and then the riled Australian was on the floor clutching at his hand, writhing in almost silent agony.

"Heavy, you are unbelievable," Medic was furious, but didn't take the time to yell at the Russian. He knelt and tried to look at Sniper's hand.

Heavy left the room without saying a thing, slamming the door hard enough to shake the frame. He stormed straight to the room Soldier, Sniper, Engineer and Scout shared, entered without knocking and headed over to where Soldier was nodding off on his bunk.

"Soldier, you need to see your stupid friend. I hit him and I vant you to apologise for me. Soldier!"

"Uhh, what? Why'd you do that? Argh," Soldier forced himself up. "Did you hurt him?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He pushed me first."

"Can I get the whole story, here?"

"It's two in the freakin' morning, guys. Some of us have goddamn kitchen duties tomorrow..." Muffled complaints came from Scout's bunk, where he had his head under his pillow.

"Okay, lemme get dressed. I take it I'm not sleeping tonight..."

Soldier dressed and followed Heavy to Medic's office, where the German told his room mate to grow up before shutting the door in their faces.

Heavy sighed and turned to Soldier.  
"Can you come and help me find the dog, instead? He is my pet."

**Next chapter coming up.**

I'm thinking I didn't do a great job with Medic and Heavy's accents.


End file.
